What Not to Wear – SoJones Edition

Article written by: Andre Sanchez
Posted on: May 4, 2009

It’s a cold world, y’all. Come correct.

An old adage goes: sometimes the best way to know what to do is to know what NOT to do. Here’s Kanye taking one for the team and graciously demonstrating a big “NOT” in the hair and accessories departments.

Let’s take a look at five other items that no apologies, just won’t work for the rest of 2009. Let’s face it, we’re soon to see a whole new decade and it’s time to clean our collective closets.  I’ll include a better alternative beside each item I bash on. Ready? Let’s go!

5. Soulja Boy’s YUMS

I can only hope you are buying the shoe because you say to yourself “well hell, I did download Soulja Boy’s album for free, I might as well buy SOMETHING!”. My even stronger hope is that you pass these up. Uninspired, ridiculous illustrations, lazy designs…It’s not all hate, if homie is gettin’ that money, it’s all good but:

Would the Valenzuela Low black (The Hundreds online shop, $56.00) interest you a little more?

4. Conceptual “Hip” designs gone totally wrong

If Jamie Kennedy had one thing to share with the hip hop community, it’s how crossing boundaries to relate to a certain group of people can backfire. So why could say, the Beastie Boys pull it off while someone like Vanilla Ice couldn’t? The answer is simple: Not trying too hard.

I hope they paid the poor guy well to wear that, but the lesson(s) here are:
1. Try out the clothes before you buy them
2. Maybe something a little more subtle, even if you’re going flashy
May I suggest:

HIGH PLAINS ZIP UP HOODIE by LRG ($77.99)

3. Ridiculous Prints on Jeans

This is probably one of the most questionable trends. Why? Because why do I want to walk around looking like I spilled paint on my jeans? Now, I realize that since you, reader, probably don’t wear that particular kind of denim, what are you into?

On a related subject, ladies: I want to know your thoughts on leggings. When paired with the right top and shoes, I think they’ll be a classic that’ll never go away. But as a guy, I can only have so much to say about the subject! Would you cop these if presented with it in the retail shop, ya’ll?

REPEAT LEGGINGS (Ecko Red, $26.99)

For the fellas:

These I could roll with. Pair with a clean, crisp pair of lo or mid’s, and you are set!
The Ronin Classic Jean Denim (By ORISUE, $90.00)

2. The “scrolling text” belt

This thing I will never understand. I believe this fad has come and gone though, so hopefully we’ve seen the last of this. But if you spot one, just know that person is probably always going to be 2-4 years behind on what’s fashionable, unless he/she comes to their senses and gets a decent belt like:

Crooks and Castles “scout belt” ($44.99)

1. THE PIMP CUP

An accessory I’m sure everyone other than Don Juan is happy we don’t see as much anymore:

-Andre

Thoughts on any of the above? Did I miss any other heinous trends that need to be stopped in their tracks? Comment below!